


Evil Dead(-ish)

by Macdarf



Category: A Nightmare on Elm Street (Movies 1984-1994), Ash vs Evil Dead (TV), Evil Dead (Movies), Evil Dead - All Media Types, Freddy vs. Jason (2003), Friday the 13th Series (Movies)
Genre: Action, Alternate Universe, Anti-Hero, Badass, Comedy, Demonic Possession, Demons, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Fanon, Fights, Funny, Gen, Horror, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Injury Recovery, Recovery, universe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-05-17 14:32:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14834063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macdarf/pseuds/Macdarf
Summary: While Mia is in the hospital, recovering from her haunted weekend at a secluded cabin, she meets some new, unlikely allies...





	1. Chapter 1

The air around her had a cool, translucently chilly must to it. It was cold, but she felt as warmly comfortable as a baby wrapped in mother's arms but wasn't a dry cold. It was... Decently comfortable.  
Especially given her weekend. 

Mia was a heroin addict. Keyword was "Was". She had recently started 'cold turkey' with her brother, David, and a few of their friends, in an old cabin they rented out. That was until Eric, who was an English school teacher at the time, found an old book, the Necronomicon, and, using his knowledge of language and the parts of the book already translated to English, he decided one of the pages of the book from its ancient language. Reading aloud from the book caused a gateway, straight to Hell. Creatures, monsters with no physical form, entered the mind of Mia, poisoning the girl's mind with thoughts of utter paranoia. She begged her brother to take her away from the cabin, but he didn't listen, thinking the girl was simply going through withdrawal. 

Until the trees attacked her.  
Something... Entered her. One of the creatures, ravished her body, leaving her with dozens of scars. Her body was then, out of her control. And one-by-one, those creatures took them. Until David was all who remained. Reading from the pages of the damned book, he discovered that if he could bury Mia alive, and then revive her, she would return. 

So he did just that.  
He made a defibrillator, out of an hand-crank generator, and syringes, and restarted Mia heartbeat.  
No longer was that... Thing in control of her body. 

Then, well, then was when the Abomination arose from the ground. Such a tear, in reality, cause the night sky to turn red, and rain with blood. Mia fought the Abomination, even finding a chainsaw and using it as a weapon. But the creature was relentless. It had even pushed a car onto the girl's left hand, causing it to be crushed and ripped off.  
It was after that when Mia violently shoved the chainsaw through the Abomination's face, killing it, and ending the rift in space, the creature being sucked back to Hell, and the sky turned back to normal.

Morning raised, and the girl's battle was victorious, yet she was the only survivor... 

After hitchhiking for several hours, she made it to a hospital. She told the doctor a lie about a tree falling over onto her hand after she had wrecked her car into a lake, trying to get help for her brother and friends, who passed away in an old cabin that burnt down. Luckily, her story perfectly matched up with the evidence. She thought about telling the truth, about the book, about the demons, but no one would believe her. Just another hallucination from a junkie. 

She looked over, at the man in the bed next to hers, wearing the same hospital gown as she, with tubes down his mouth for eating, and I.V.s in his arm for hydration and medicine. Even though he was in a coma, Mia envied him. He knew nothing of demons or the gateway to Hell that was that book. Beeping down the hall took her attention, as she caught doctors and nurses running, likely to save another life. 

"Uh, hey, lady, wherein the seven blazes am I?"

She turned around instantly, jumping off of her bed, looking at the older man who was formerly in a coma. He took the I.V. out of his arm, and the tube out of his mouth, before he spoke again. "Hey, gingerbread-head, I asked you a question, where am I?", he started to get off of his bed, when more beeping, running, and voices were heard down the hall. Mia finally worked up the courage to answer his question, "Michigan General Hospital".  
"Michigan? Ah, fuck, can't I ever just go and stay in Florida?"  
The man stood up and walked to the small, wheeled table, which contained his clothes. He then unapologetically undressed from his gown, and, when nude, Mia looked away. "Dude, seriously?", she asked, annoyed. The man chuckled, "Hey red, don't act like you don't wanna peek at this pound ol' sausage." Mai rolled her eyes, and she did look, simply to see if he was done dressing, which, thankfully, he was. And by God, was his outfit bad. It was outdated as ever, something that would've been decent in the nineteen-eighties, but since that was thirty years ago, it just made him look old, which he clearly was. He wore an odd red glove over his right hand, khakis, and a dark-blue shirt that had a belt loop along his torso? She thought maybe it held something on his back, like a shot-gun holster, but there was no way anyone would ever wear that into a hospital. "Naw, it's too late now red, the perv show is over. But if you'd like to undress for me, well, daddy wouldn't mind one bit", he smiled cockily after his incredibly rude statement. 

Mia scoffed, "You're old enough to be my grandfather". He laughed, although the statement clearly did hurt his feelings, "You can call my Grandpa if you want Sugarlips, I won't judge, I've banged uglier chicks with worse kinks than that." She crossed her arms, "I seriously doubt someone as idiotic as you has ever had any intimacy with another human being."

Just as he was about to come back with a, well, come back, a nurse ran into the room and closed the door, more than terrified. She used her body to blockade the door. Both Mia and the man were very confused, did they miss something? He was going to ask for the two of them, "Hey, Ms. Nurse Lady, what's u-", but he was cut off by two fists punching holes through the door, grabbing the nurse and knocking the door down. Her screams ended soon, with her death. Then, an elderly woman jumped into the room. Her eyes, yellow, teeth sharp as a shark's, skin pale as snow, and then her face deformed to look like a monkey's, mixed with a human skull. She pointed at Mia, and spoke in the most unpleasant of voices, deeply unnatural, "MIA ALLEN! You may have escaped the gates of Hell, but your soul still belongs to us!" Mia swallowed hard, she thought; 'This is how I'm going to die'. She escaped them, just to die four days later in a hospital.

But then, the monster pointed at the old man, and spoke in the inhuman voice again, "Well, if it isn't the Savior! El Jefe!" The creature laughed an unholy cackle, before continuing its lecture, "We'll swallow your souls!"

It leaped at the man, but Mia was quick, picking up the unused I.V. stand next to her bed and wacking the creature into the hallway. "Woah-ho, now that's a home run!", the old man- Jefe, whatever that meant, applauded Mia's attempt to save both their asses from a demon. She gasped for air before asking, "Are you fucking serious?". He simply shrugged, "It's just good to see someone not immediately die facing one of those Deadite pricks."

Before Mia could begin to ask what the actual Hell he was spitting on about, the demon jumped back into the room, floating approximately a foot above the ground. "You'll pay for that you fucking bitch!", and then it screeched like a monkey before jumping onto her, pinning her to the ground. She used her left arm to press up the creature's torso, and her right to push against its shoulder. It smiled horrifically, and spit blood in her face, causing her eyes to close instinctively, and she turns her head. 

"Hey, old-ite", said the man, standing arm's length away from the pair, causing Mia and the demon to look in his direction. He threw a punch at the monster's face so hard, the thing fell off Mia and onto the cold, hard hospital floor, and letting the girl shuffle a safe distance away. "You know, as much as I would love to see Red here get jiggy with another girl", he said before he grabbed it by the hair on its head, before violently slamming it against the hospital bed's metal rim, "It''s past your bedtime."

The seemingly unconscious demon's body hit the floor like a ton of bricks, and the older man turned to Mia and extending his left hand (the gloved one) to help her off the floor. She accepted his hand, and he pulled her off the ground, twirled around, and held her in a position as if he was gonna kiss her. "First-time demon hunting?", he asked, before giving her a cocky smile. She instantly slapped him with her bandaged stump, and he dropped her as a gut reaction. "Really? I save your ass from a possessed old bitch and that's how you thank me?"  
Mia picked herself off the ground and spat back, "Look, pal, I don't know how many screws it is you have loose, but that shit there, was shit I would have been more than done with if it wasn't for your dumbass!"  
"Me?", he chuckled, " Look, you art-school-drop-out, you are tough shit, clearly, but I'm the only one in this hospital, maybe this entire godforsaken state that has any goddamn experience fighting those things, and you should be grateful I just saved your selfish butt!" 

It was just then that the creature awoke and grabbed his ankle, causing him to yelp. Mia would've laughed, had it not been for the adrenaline that coursed through her, causing her to lift her barefoot and crash it down on the creature's arm so hard it snapped.  
It cried out in pain before there was a loud 'BOOM!' and the creature's head exploded. Blood and bits of brain flew up and hit Mia and the 'Jefe'. They turned toward the doorway, where a Spanish-looking man in his twenties and an odd haircut stood, holding a double barrel shotgun. The older man spoke almost instantly, apparently recognizing the younger male, "Pablo!"  
This, "Pablo" returned the favor, "Ash!"  
Pablo ran up and hugged "Ash", who responded by pushing him off of him. "You know I'm one for warm welcomes, but now's not the time. Where's Kelly?"  
"Right here". To add to the confusion, another twenty-something year old walked in, this time, it was some goth-punk chick, with dyed black and purple hair, and a leather jacket. She, naturally, was holding a red chainsaw, similar to the one she used to cut up the Abomination. The difference was, this one looked... Dull, covered in blood, and had an odd addition to the base, which Mia couldn't identify what the hell it was used for. 

The girl, Kelly, nodded at Mia, "Who's this?". Ash shrugged, "Just some ungrateful whore, now, where's the book." Kelly and Pablo looked at each other, before Pablo spoke up, "Uh, we thought you had it Jefe."  
"Oh fuuuuuck, no! If I did have that book, we would've regrouped and we would've fixed this mess!" 

Their vagueness in their words caught Mia's attention, "Book? What book?" Ash turned to her and mumbled as he spoke, "Oh, just the Necronomicon, now", he turned to Pablo and Kelly, "Let's reload, pack up and find it so we can e-".  
Mia spoke up, catching everyone by surprise, "The Necronomicon ex Mortis? Book of the Dead?"

Everyone's jaw jumped. Ash spoke first, "Uh, yeah, how'd you know that? See it in a bookstore or something?" She swallowed, "No, my brother, a few of his friends and I found that book at a cabin in the woods. One of them read it, and I got possessed." That statement caused Pablo to drop the shotgun and raised a revolver, why he didn't just raise the double barrel confused her, but she finished the story quickly, for her own sake, "But I fought it off! I pushed that voodoo-demon straight out of me, I swear."

Ash stepped to Mia and threw her a punch. She out her hand and stump to her now bruising cheek, "OUCH! WHY'D YOU DO THAT YOU SONOFA-" Ash raised his hands to calm her, "Alright, alright, I believe your story hot stuff, Pablo put your gun down." The wacky haircut followed the order and lowered his gun, and Ash continued, "something crazy similar happened to me twent-"  
"Thirty", Kelly corrected.  
"Thirty years ago, I had to chop my sister, punch a giraffe-neck demon, and I got sucked back into the thirteen hundreds, where I had to fight with King Arthur against a skeleton army lead by my evil clone, so believe me when I say I know how crazy this shit can be, now, where did you find my book?" Mia shrugged, confused at the nonsense he spat out before the question registered with her. "Uhh, in a cabin in the woods, but it burnt down before I got here, and that book was inside. It's gone." Ash raised his hand, "Nope, notta, I've tried it myself, that book doesn't burn. Now, let's go get it." Ash walked out of the room, picking up the shotgun and holstering it on his back as he walked. Pablo moved close behind, like a loyal dog, his own gun in his holster at his waist. Kelly went to follow, before Mia's concerned words stopped her, "Wait- you guys can't just leave me here!" Kelly chuckled, as she tossed Mia her chainsaw, which the girl caught, "No girlfriend, we don't know where your cabin is, so you're our guide, plus, I think Ash kinda likes you. So come on Rocky, let's go."  
"But my clothe-"  
"I got some shit in the car you can where, now come on, let's go fight some demons girl."  
Mia rolled her eyes and started walking to the door. When she passed Kelly, the girl put her arm around Mia and the two walked side-by-side together. "You and I", Kelly said, "Are gonna be good friends."  
Mia scoffed, "I think you're right, MCR."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two!  
> I'm afraid its not as good as the first, but, meh, this is good enough for me atm.  
> Chapter three will be soon.  
> Well, soon-ish.

Mia and Kelly walked side-by-side down the hospital's halls. The lights above them flickered, blood was smeared all over the walls, items were flipped over, and bodies were laid across the floor. Kelly took her arm off of Mia, and the other girl returned the favor. Mia raised the red chainsaw she held with her one remaining hand and used her stub to help her keep it up. Kelly took a strap off her shoulder, which was connected to an M16, that she raised up in the same cautious tone Mia did. 

Wait, how did Mia not notice the M-fucking-16 strapped to this girl's back until now? Seems like something she would have noticed, but no, the assault rifle slipped right by her. She lightly shook her head, letting the thought escape her, after all, if it wasn't being used against her, it didn't matter, right? 

A shadow moved across the wall, and a mental plate spun around before falling over. Kelly aimed her gun at the location the plate and shadow arose from. Mia stood still, obviously terrified, while the other girl moved closer to it... 

Something caught Mia's eye, and she looked over her shoulder. What she saw was what remained of a glass door, and her reflection looking back at her.  
But it wasn't her reflection, it was the Abomination, in the opposite world of the glass' reflection. Mia froze still, until the creature in the mirrored world looked at her, no longer copying Mia's movements. It screeched, before pouncing at the girl. She instinctively held up her arms to defend herself-  
But nothing happened. She looked up, and saw herself in the glass, seemingly back to normal. She lowered her arms and realized Kelly was trying to talk to her. 

"Hello? Weird hospital girl? You alive?"

Mia cleared her throat and nodded, "Yeah, yeah I'm fine. Thought I saw some freaky shit is all." She turned to Kelly, to see a possessed female nurse on the ceiling over Kelly. "Look out!", Mia screamed before Kelly whipped around and the creature jumped down, face-to-face with the young woman. 

Mia yelled in reactionary fear, and Kelly budded the Demon in the face with the butt of her rifle, knocking it back. The Creature then recovered itself, and uppercutted Kelly so hard, that she wasn't only unconscious, she flew a few feet off the ground. Mia watched in horror as her seemingly lifeless body hit the floor. The Demonic Being turned to the remaining girl and hollered, "You're next, Junkie!".

The Monstrosity then leaped forward, landing on a file cabinet tilted over, causing Mia to trip and fall backward. It pointed at her, and yelled dramatically, " I'll swallow your soul!"

The girl reacted quickly, starting her movement before the Creature was even halfway finished with the statement; she kicked the Undead in the shin, causing it to fall face first on the cabinet it stood on. Unhurt by that action, is reached forward, growling and hissing, as it crawled toward her. She shifted backward, away from the Beast, kicking at it with her bare feet to try and keep it at bay. But it was relentless. It did not stop. It reached out, clawing desperately at the air to get and kill her. It even managed to scratch Mia's ankles, before grabbing ahold of one and dragging her towards it. 

Mia extended her arms, looking for something to hold on to when she remembered the chainsaw in her one good hand. Using her stubby arm and her good hand, she held the blade, and she used her mouth as a grasp around the pulley to start the machine.  
One pull, nothing. Two pulls, nothing. Three pulls, and the chainsaw roared. Mia held it up and cut off the Monster's hand in one movement. 

It screeched and its blood flew everywhere, one of the walls, ceiling, floor, Mia, and Kelly's face, causing the former to awaken. She quickly picked herself up and saw the Demon trying to kill Mia. Well, and Mia with the chainsaw swinging widely in the air, after her first and only successful attempt at hitting the possessed human. "Not today bitch!", Kelly said, as cocked her assualt rifle, and started unloading on the creature's face. 

Bullet after but poured into it, Mia thought she'd go deaf. Bang! after Bang! after Bang! on repeat for dozens of times. Kelly finally stopped shooting, and all the was left of the Undead's head was a bloody pulp of brains. 

Kelly sighed and wiped the blood and brains out of her eyes, and chuckled, "That was too close." Mia was still terrified, shaking, and drenched in blood and pulp.  
"Need a hand up?", Kelly offered while strapping her M-16 to her back, followed by the action of offering the girl a hand. Mia swallowed, and then nodded, "Y-yeah". She stood, and the two started to walk out once more, but Mia had trouble walking due to her leg, and nearly fell over. 

"Woah kid, easy", Kelly caught her. "T-thanks, for the catch and saving my ass back there." Kelly nodded, and placed Mia's arm over her neck, supporting her up. The young woman also took her new wounded friend's chainsaw. 

"Come on the kid, we're almost out of here."

The two walked out of the hospital, and Kelly lead carried Mia to a blue pick-up truck, laying her down in the back. Mia, who was exhausted and terrified, simply dozed off... 

Soon after the pair had arrived at the vehicle, Pablo and Ash had existed the now run-down hospital. "What took you?", Kelly asked, sharply. Pablo, who was now covered in blood, answered, "We ran into some old friends."

Ash looked around the parking lot, confused, "Where red-head bitch? And more importantly, where's the Delta?"

Pablo moved towards Kelly, and the two eyed each other. "Jefe, we're not sure. It disappeared when you did." Ash stepped back, "Woah-Woah-Woah, you're telling me the second you two idiots were alone with my car, you lost it?" Kelly retorted his claim, "You were the last one to drive it, numbnuts."  
"Oh sure, shift the blame to me, look, I've had that car since the eighties, and my Dad had it before then, and not once has it been lost, but the second I go into a demon-induced coma-"  
"How is this our fault? You're the idiot that read from that stupid book just to get laid by some dumb stoner girl-"  
"Hey, she was a hot stoner girl, you'd do the same!"

As the two continued arguing, Pablo walked over to the truck and hopped in the back with the unconscious Mia. He tapped her gently, waking her up, as he handed her a bag, that he'd filled with pain medications. "Thought you might need these."  
Mia shorted through the bag, taking out a few pills from a bottle and taking them, "Thanks." She turned to Kelly and Ash, who were still arguing. 

"You two didn't just lose my car, but my demon book too, you guys really can't function without me can you?"  
"Again, you're the last one to have had either!"  
"That's because I can't trust you two with my stuff! Unless it's to tidy u-"

Mia intercut, interrupting the two, "Hey, dumb and dumber, we aren't gonna find that book with you two comparing sizes all night long."

Ash walked to the truck, bumping into Kelly rudely, and taking driver's seat. Kelly followed and got in the passenger side. The vehicle started with a roar, and the four drove off, to the sight of the cabin, and of the evil book...


	3. Finale

The air was hot and moist. It felt like steam, a serious wet heat, like a boiler room. Mia looked around, confused as could be. 

Expecting to find Kelly, Pablo or... the other guy, but all she saw was tight walls and pipes.  
"Hello?", she called out, the warm, dark room echoing throughout the entire location, even returning and getting louder to Mia. She turned around since the bouncing echo was enough for her to know there was no exit. She started walking down the seemingly endless hallway, each footstep hitting the metal floor, making a 'Chank!' with each movement. 

Mia called out again, "Hello!?". She kept walking, still utterly unsure where she was or what to do. Suddenly, she felt a rush of fear take over her, and she started running down the hallway, that seemed to get smaller and smaller as she got farther. She had to turn to her side and had to move carefully through the tight area. 

"Mia?"

A voice called out through the darkness. A soft, familiar voice, that brought warmth to her. It sounded like... 

"David?"

She turned around, through the way she came. The closed-in walls opened, and she walked hurriedly, and excited. 

"Mia, where are you?"

She turned towards the sound and started running towards where she believed it came from. 

"I'm right here David!"

As she got closer, the lights hanging from the 'ceiling' above here turning from white to a menacing red. Mia stopped, reaching a door, that she pushed open cautiously.  
When she did, she saw David... 's head on a stool, in the middle of a dark room. Mia let out a scream, and the lifeless head opened its eyes, and talked in a creepy, unnatural voice, "I CAN'T STAND YOU MIA! I'M HAPPIER IN HELL THAN I EVER WAS AROUND YOU!"

The girl screamed, and turned to run through the door, and ran directly into someone. She fell on the ground, and the first thing she noticed about the strange man who appeared out of nowhere, was his right hand, which held something reflective. A blade maybe, she wasn't sure. The second thing was his fedora, and his red and g--

"Hey, hey, wake up!"

Pablo's voice bombed her, and the world went dark, and she was back in the back of Kelly's truck. She sat up, breathing hard. Pablo Sat next to her. 

"Oh, sorry there, uh", he wanted to say her name but didn't ask formerly. Luckily, Mia caught on and answered in between her huffs, "Mia."

"Mia", Pablo continued, "Sorry, we need directions for where the cabin was."

Meanwhile, in the front of the truck, Weird-guy was driving, and Kelly sat next to him. He turned, and opened the sliding window to the back, "Yo, badass amputee, where do we go?"

Mia opened a bottle of ibuprofen, popping one before pointing and answering, "Keep heading down here, turn on fifth, go down there, and turn left on the first dirt road you see. Straight ahead from there."  
Kelly nodded, "Thanks", before closing the window. 

Pablo tilted his head, and asked, " What happened to your hand?"  
Mia looked at the stump as if it would remind her of something she already knew. "Uh, I went to this cabin with my brother and a few friends. We found that evil, dead, book shit. It killed my friends, then my brother, and as I was trying to wrong, it pushed a car on me. I moved, but it got my hand. I finally mustered up the courage to fight those fuckers, and I did. But I didn't do it fast enough to save anyone." Mia kicked the truck, tears gathering in her eyes. 

She whipped the water from her eyes, and nodded to Pablo while sniffling, " So uh, what's your losers' story?"

Pablo raised his head in a quirky fashion, "Oh, uh, well, Jefe, Ash there, his girlfriend, sister, and a few friends of his died in a cabin thirty-some years ago. Ever since then, he's been chased by these demons. He's been killing them, protecting humanity from their evil-"

"He's protecting us?"

"Oh, you know it. He's the only thing protecting us from the demons taking over every single person on earth."

Mia looked at Ash, and sighed, "It's a miracle we're all still alive. What about you two?"

Pablo chuckled, "Oh, Kelly and I, we're not together. Yeah, I thought she had a thing for me, but not I'm not so sure-"

"I meant your story, dummy."

"Oh, oh! Okay, yeah, Kelly, Ash and I worked at a Value Stop, but the Evil came after Jefe, and Kelly got caught up in it."  
Mia turned her head, curiously, and Pablo continued, "Yeah, Kelly's parents were killed by them. If not for Ash and I, she might have been too..." Pablo trailed off in thought, staring at the back of Kelly's head. After a moment, Kelly looked over her shoulder at him. The two smiled, and then returned back to their sites. 

"So, yeah. That's the story. I guess."

Mia rolled her eyes, "You still haven't told me yours yet."

Pablo chuckled again, "Dammit, sorry. I swear I'm usually", he shifted in his seat, adopting a deeper-sounding voice, "I'm usually a lot smarter and tougher than this, I swear. Ash and Kelly asked for my help, and I said yes." After answering, he sat there with a dumb smile on his face, nodding gently. 

Mia put her face in her hand, rubbing it as one would if they had a headache, "Oh my God", she mumbled. 

The car took its last turn, on a straight road to the old cabin. The group of four got closer, and closer, the woods engulfing them. The night sky was hard to see, the branches blocking the view. Mia tapped on the window, letting the pair up front know to stop. Ash slowed the truck down to a stop, turned the motor vehicle off, and opened his door, stepping out. Kelly followed soon, and Pablo right after. Mia took a few more pills, and stepped out, with help from Pablo. 

Ash grabbed his right hand, and Mia watched curiously. He twisted it, in a way one would open a child-proof medication bottle. He took it straight off and Mia realized that it was a fake hand. He walked around to the back of the truck, took out the chainsaw, and twisted it on his stump just as he had done to remove his hand. He then reached back to grab his 12 gages shotgun from his back, and twirled it, before grabbing hold of it properly. "Alright, let's find this book, go home, and eat a nice big hoagie." He then walked off towards the large pile of ash and smut that was the cabin Mia stayed in. 

Mia leaned over to Pablo, as they all followed Ash's lead. "What's with the chainsaw hand?"

"It's to help him fight the evil."

"Right. Should've known. Silly me."

The reached the hole of what was the cabin's basement. Ash asked in a tone of voice that reminded Mia of a strict father, "Is it in there?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Groovy."

All four of then crawled down into the hole, Ash first, Kelly second, Pablo third and Mia last. The gang was covered in smut now, but no one seemed to mind... 

But Mia just realized she was still wearing the hospital gown. She turned to Kelly, "You need to give me some clothes still."

Kelly looked at the girl and chuckled, "That's right, I do. You two think you can find the boom while we're gone?"

Pablo, who was knee deep in dust, nodded, but Ash simply gave a "Yeah sure whatever."

So, awkwardly, the girls climbed out of the hole. They shuffled over to the truck, and Kelly hopped in the back, throwing Mia a red shirt, leather vest, skinny jeans, and a pair of boots obviously meant for a man (Mia suspected Ash's.) As the girl looked at it all, she made a remark to her new friend, "Have something less 90's?"

Kelly looked at her with mean, angry eyes, clearly not liking the joke. Mia started getting out of her gown, "Relax, relax, it was just a joke. She started with the pants, then the boots, and then the shirt. She turned to Kelly, still holding the vest. "Do I Really have to wear this?"  
"You do now", Kelly answered, with equal amounts sass and anger. Mia slipped it over her shirt, annoyed at the other girl. 

After she was done dressing, the two returned back to the hole. Pablo had cleared one side of the ash-like dust, covered in head to toe in smut, looking for the book, while it was clear Ash didn't do anything.  
The two girls sat, dangling their legs over the hole's cliff. Ash looked at them, and pointed at Mia, "That's a good look on you." Pablo looked to see what he was referring to, and nodded, "Si, yes it is. Very nice outfit Mia."  
Kelly intervened, "It's my outfit you assho-"  
"Ah-ha!", shouted Ash, and he bent down, finding and picking up the book. "Gotcha!"

Mia joked, "Well that was easy."  
Pablo stood up and shook his head, "No no no, with the evil, things are never this easy." The boy tensed up, clearly scared for a threat no one else thought was coming. Ash walked over and patted him on the shoulder, "Pablo, normally I'd agree with you, but this time, I think we're in the clear. Now, let's get out of here."

Pablo nodded, and he climbed out, Kelly and Mia pulling him out of the hole. Ash was next, and the three went to pull him out of the hole, but right as they grabbed hold of his arms, he disappeared. Kelly reacted first, "What the shit?" Pablo put his hands on his head, losing his cool completely, "Oh shit, um, Jefe?!"  
His call echoed across the woods, to no answer.  
"Jefe!!"  
Again, it ran, with no one to catch and return the call.  
Mia stood up, looking around, hoping to simply see Ash. "Shit shit shit!", she mumbled, panicking. 

Kelly cocking her rifle got the two to stop, and look at her. "Everyone, stand back-to-back!"

The two listened, Pablo pulling out his pistol, and Mia raising her fist and stump. Kelly continued her leadership, "You see something, anything, you say so. Got it?"  
Mia and Pablo answered in unison, Pablo still nervous at the absence of Ash, "Got it."

Kelly reached down to her boot, pulling out an odd dagger with a skull on the base, and handed it to Mia.  
"Thanks."  
"Thank me when we get out of this kid. Not now."

\---

Meanwhile;  
Ash awoke from a sleep he had not remembered taking. He looked around, seeing trees and leaves everywhere. Only, they were moving? No, he was. He looked up, and saw a figure, at least seven feet tall in height, dragging him by his shin. Ash grabbed his chainsaw with his remaining hand, and pulled it, the motor starting instantly. Before the figure could react, Ash cut its hand off, freeing himself, laughing all the while. The figure stumbled, its face deformed, and ugly, clearly not human, but less chatty and annoying than a deadite. Maybe a new demon Ash hasn't faced?  
It was then that Ash realized it had the Necronomicon strapped to his chest.  
. He raised his hands, defensively at the beast. "Wow there ugly. Just give me that book, and I won't hurt you... Anymore." The monster raised its remaining hand holding a machete. It raised the blade over its head, swinging down at Ash, but his chainsaw stopped it in time, the blades clashing causing light sparks. Ash twisted his chainsaw, knocking his opponent's blade away, and unholstered his shotgun. He held it in his good hand, aiming it at the creature. "Hey, ugly! Your stylist is here." He pulled the trigger and blew the monster's head clean off.  
He twirled the gun in his show-off kind of way, re-holstering the weapon. 

"Now, to find Kelly and Pablo".

Just as he finished that thought, he heard Pablo's cry, "Jefe!"

\-----

Elsewhere;  
"Jefe!", Pablo called again, the trio still standing shoulder-to-shoulder, back-to-back. " Would you shut up? He obviously can't fucking hear you!", Kelly snapped at Pablo. "I just hope he's okay. That man is like a father to me." Kelly nodded, and spoke under her breath, "Me too. Ash, I hope you're alright."

"I hope whatever got him don't come after us", Mia joked. 

Kelly shook her head, "Now's not the time for that."

Suddenly, a figure walked out of the forest, Mia held up her blade. "Guys? Guys, I see something!" Kelly and Pablo turned to see what she was referring to, seeing a man walk out of the woods. The pair starting firing their guns, screaming as they did, and the body fell to the ground. The three looked at each other, silently realizing they may have just shot Ash. 

They ran over, Pablo continually shouting, then speaking softly, "Jefe!? Jefe?! Jefe?" As they got closer, it was clear it wasn't Ash. Mia even stating, "Uh, guys, I don't think that's him."  
No, instead the body looked younger, more masculine, shorter, and much more facial hair. He looked like, "David."

Before Kelly could ask what she said or meant, David hopped at Kelly, kicking her so hard she flew back against a tree, unconscious. Pablo turned to him, shooting him once or twice, before getting punched in the face so hard he fell on the ground. The demon turned to Mia, the face that once was her brother's now deformed by burns and by the demon's magic.  
"What's a matter is? You miss me?"

Mia swung the blade at the demon's torso. The creature jumped out of the way, and Pablo, who had just caught himself, raised his pistol and fired once. The deadite dodged, and turned his head completely around at Pablo, and then started walking in reverse towards him. His arms, legs, and torso all broke an twisted unnaturally, turning his body around without moving his head. It kicked Pablo's gun out of his hand, and jumped atop him, an unnaturally long tongue slipping out the creature's mouth, and licked Pablo's face, cutting it like a razor.  
Pablo screamed, and Mia stabbed the demon in the back. It howled and tried to reach the blade to remove it. Mia stepped back, and the demon turned itself around, looking at her, it faces appearing as her brother's normal face. "Mia, why would you hurt me? I thought you loved me, Mia. You're my only family."

Mia shook her head, "You're not him!"

It growled it faces returning to its hideous form. "I'll swallow your soul!", it said, leaping at her. Mia closed her eyes and looked away when she heard a motor.

She opened her eyes, to see Ash standing over her brother's decapitated body, his chainsaw blazing. "Someone order a haircut?", he joked, helping Mia and Pablo off the ground. Pablo fave lit up, and he hugged the older man, "Jefe, I'm so happy you're okay!"

Ash pushed him off, almost immediately, "Not now amigo. Let's get outta here. This forest gives me the creeps."

Mia asked the obvious question, "You get the book?"

Ash nodded and patted the book strapped to his belt. Mia nodded and went to wake up Kelly, Pablo helping her get the wounded into the vehicle. They did, and the girl rested peacefully in the back of the truck. Ash took off his chainsaw hand, and reattached his robotic one, before getting in the front. Kelly rested in the back, along with Pablo and Mia, who sat with her. 

"Where could I get one of those hands?", Mia asked. 

"It's custom made. Why, you want one?", Pablo answered. 

Mia shook her head, and the truck started, and the four rode off into the sunset, ready to battle evil another day... 

"Holy shit!", Ash screamed, sprinting out of the car. Pablo and Mia looked around, confused and worried. Ash stopped at a clump of grass, yanking it all off. Underneath, appeared to be an old car. " It's the Delta! Pablo, get my chainsaw!", he yelled with joy. Pablo ran over with the blade, helping him get the car free. 

It took around ten minutes for them to do so, Kelly having woken up in that time. The two went in the old car, Kelly, and Mia joking that it wouldn't work, when it came to life, and pulled up to the truck. "Get in", Ash said, with a cheerful attitude. Kelly and Mia looked at each other, "We're taking the truck."

Mia hopped in the driver's seat of the vehicle, and the two cars drove off, the four of them now doubt going on endless adventures, battling evil... 

 

\-----  
Epilogue: 

As the Oldsmobile and the truck drove out of the woods, the trees made an odd sound. 'CH-CH-CH, AH-AH-AH'.  
The demon Ash had faced seemingly healed itself with its own dark, twisted magic. It bent down, picking up its machete, a voice ringing in the monster's head, "Do it! Kill them! Kill them all! Come on, Jason. Do it for Mommy."  
The deformed monster bent down, picking up a worn hockey mask buried in the mud. Wiping it off, he put it on his face and started walking down the road the two cars went...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you all think? Should I continue this, in the obvious sequel I set up?  
> Teehee, thank you all for reading, have a nice day.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first thing I've written for this site, and it's my first Evil Dead fan fiction ever, so if I could get feedback on it, i'd be more than grateful  
> That's all, thanks for reading, ily  
> XOXO
> 
> Update  
> I've decided this will be a three chapter story, and chapter two will be up soon.


End file.
